this is high school honors math

7 Jan

You know those two studious gals in the back of the room? Look at them, all academic, intently taking notes on derivatives. Ms. Freni-Johnson should be ever so proud:

v: Two guys walked into a bar

s: And then one said, “I don’t know who you are.”

v: As he stared glazed eyed into a mirror

s: He saw behind him one man nearer.

v: A delayed reaction caused him to stumble

s: Quickly an apology he managed to mumble.

v: Though a hardly audible drunken slur

s: And through half closed eyes the world was a blur.

v: He mistook an 86 year old man for his wife

s: And he said, “Dear, you’ve never come here in your life!”

v: The old man, half-deaf, jumped to his feet

s: “What did you call me, my fist you’ll now eat”

v: Then, all at once, a riot broke out

s: The first punch was thrown by a man that was stout

v: He knocked out the old man, and outright kicked ass

s: But his son heard his cries, he was always a good lass

v: The poor kid couldn’t do much since he fought like a girl

s: And after five minutes he was ready to hurl

v: So he turned to the drunk and got ready to barf

s: And in defence all the drunk man could say was “narf”

v: Lo and behold, the kid let it all fly out

s: Into the drunk’s face so he couldn’t even shout

v: (Although he probably wouldn’t have since he was about to pass out)

s: Now all he could do was turn away and pout

v: Since his baby blue tux was now acidic gray

s: All he wanted was to be far away

v: And so in a daze he fled the scene

s: And behind him he left three guys feeling mean

v: As well as his wallet and 5 empty beers

s: With that money they paid for another round and said “cheers!”

v: And drank through the night like all great men do

s: Now I can say this story is though!

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